


Too Close For Comfort

by JamesSunderlandsPillow



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Almost Crack, Catdog - Freeform, Comedy, Comfort, Dialogue Heavy, Drama, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Girl/Girl, Humor, Hurt, It's me people, Naughty language, No sex though, Romance, Strong Language, Tsundere, Yuri, just a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamesSunderlandsPillow/pseuds/JamesSunderlandsPillow
Summary: Kim and Shego literally become Kigo after an accident that sees them end up like Catdog. A big silly, fluffy mess otherwise. Rated T for strong language and suggestive themes, but no sexual content. I do not own Kim Possible.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for checking this out.
> 
> If the vague summary wasn’t enough to go by, this is going to be a nutty tale. Don’t take it too seriously, it’s mostly just for gits and shiggles, but it will also have some of my well-known fluff.
> 
> Credit goes out to Invader Johnny for requesting this thing, and hopefully he, and all of you who read, will have fun reading it:)
> 
> And finally, if you haven’t watched the episode “Stop Team Go,” this story will reference the events of it. Go read a summary on the KP wiki, at least. Other than that, I don’t know where this fits in the official canon. Probably best not to overthink it.
> 
> So, without further ado, please enjoy!

 

“Yes… YEEES!” Dr. Drakken sinisterly shouts as he puts the finishing touches on his latest evil invention.

He looks back to Shego, who is playing on her phone. He frowns at her.

“Shego…” he petulantly whines.

She just rolls her eyes, trying to ignore him.

But of course, he keeps looking at her like a big mopey baby, and she knows he’ll just keep doing so until she acknowledges him… Unfortunately.

…

She sighs. “What now?” she coldly responds as she looks up from her phone to meet his grumpy gaze.

“Why can’t you just take interest in one of my schemes for once? It’s very disheartening to put your all into something only for people to show a complete lack of interest,” the super villain bemoans in typical Drakken fashion.

Shego rolls her eyes and sighs again. “Okay… Fine… What are you working on?”

…

A wicked smile comes to his blue face.

“Behold, Shego! I have just completed the final modifications for a working teleportation pad!” he proudly announces.

She doesn’t even try to look impressed, but he’s oblivious to her indifference and continues his villainous monologue.

“It’s simple! I will use this device to teleport myself into the Sikowitz museum of Kentucky- the most _heavily_ guarded museum in Appalachia, bypass it’s security, and steal the only piece of Snowman Hank memorabilia that has eluded me all these years… An authentic Snowman Hank Carrot Nose!”

“Okay- time out… You went through the trouble of building this doohickey… To steal Snowman Hank crap?” Shego bluntly states.

…

Drakken frowns again as he crosses his arms, and he deeply inhales through his nostrils.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t call it _crap…”_

…

“Whatever…” Shego mumbles to herself as she returns to her smartphone.

...

The lack of a wittier follow-up than “whatever” piques Drakken’s interest, and he turns back to face her with a raised brow.

“What’s your deal, anyway?” he asks.

“What deal?” Shego scoffs.

“You’re _especially_ cranky today. And you’ve been glued to that phone all morning. What’re you doing on there anyway?” he inquires.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you. And I’m not even kidding. I would _literally_ have to end your life,” Shego asserts.

…

Drakken mockingly makes a face as he turns away, and goes back to tinkering.

“You know, I should know these things, being your employer and all…”

…

Shego just sullenly sighs to herself, choosing simply not to respond.

…

A few minutes pass, and Drakken is all evil smiles again as he prepares to act on his latest nefarious scheme.

“Yes Snowman Hank… Once I activate this teleporter and step inside, I will finally be able to say with complete confidence that _I,_ Dr. Drakken-”

“Drew,” Shego interrupts, just to be snarky.

“Dr. _Drakken,”_ he continues, “Am the most devout Snowman Hank fan to ever live!”

…

“Is that so?” a familiar, cringe worthy voice calls out from across the lair.

Drakken turns to look, and sees Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable standing there all ready for action, like he’s seen them countless times before.

“I have you know, I have all six holiday specials on Ultra HD 4K Blu-Ray DVD, _with_ special commentary from executive creator Michael Cody!” Ron proclaims.

“Ron, please… Geek out _after_ we save the day,” Kim pleas to him.

…

“Ha! You only have the Ultra HD 4K Blu-Ray DVDs? _I_ have-” Drakken begins.

“Yeah, nobody cares,” Kim interrupts.

“Hey!” Ron whines, clearly offended.

“Sorry,” she sweetly apologizes to him before returning her attention to her arch nemesis. “Why don’t we just save each other the trouble of going through all the good guy/bad guy nonsense? Just turn yourselves in. I mean, I have a lot of homework to get caught up on before spring break,” Kim bargains.

Drakken scowls. “Absolutely not! You may have foiled all of my other plans, Kim Possible; but this time, it’s really important! I won’t falter under such dire circumstances!” he declares.

Kim just meets him with apathy.

…

“Nyeah! Shego!” Drakken cries.

The others look to her, and she’s still playing on her phone.

“SHEGO!” Drakken cries again with more desperation.

She groans, and puts her phone away. “I wish the lord would take me,” she grudgingly thinks aloud as she stands up from her seat.

…

“Eww, cynical,” Ron comments.

“Alright, Shego. Let’s make this quick. I’d like to kick your butt in time to get home and finish my midterm thesis,” Kim brashly tells her.

And the way she says it just pisses Shego off, lighting a fire in her and moving her out of her ennui and into a full-blown rage.

“Rrrah!” she growls as she flares up her green plasma, and she charges at Kim with great ferocity.

It catches Kim by surprise to see the sudden change in demeanor, but she’s resourceful enough to dodge as Shego lunges at her.

“Jeez Shego… Did I hit a nerve?” Kim quips before the two engage in their usual fisticuffs.

…

Which leaves the males to do… whatever.

…

Ron defiantly smiles at Drakken, who just snarls at the sidekick.

Just as the villain is about to begin monologuing again, Ron cuts him off.

“Okay, before you say it; my name is _Ron._ R O N, Ron. Got it?”

“I could care less what your name is you blithering idiot! What I _am_ concerned about is the rodent! Where is it?!”

…

From behind Drakken, Ron’s trusty naked mole rat companion Rufus meets his master with a smile and a thumbs up.

Ron just nods at him before returning to distracting Drakken.

…

“Nevermind that. Did you hear they're making a live action TV movie to reboot Snowman Hank?” Ron asks with a grin.

“Nuh uh!” Drakken tactfully responds. “You're lying!”

“Its true! Google it!” Ron rebuts.

Drakken searches for his phone, but can't find it on his person. “Shego! Will you-”

…

No, she won’t; because she's too busy fighting Kim Possible.

…

“Grrr!” Drakken growls before declaring and donning a somber look. “Are you for reals?” he asks Ron.

Ron just nods.

“Ugh! Why live action? That's just- _ugh-_ lame!”

…

The diversion by Ron works, and Rufus comes flinging at Drakken with primal, naked fury. He lands on Drakken’s back, who promptly squeals like a small child. “Eww, eww, eww! Get it off, get it off!”

…

The battle rages on, with Ron and Rufus taking it to the blue meanie in very awkward fashion while Kim and Shego duke it out with great finesse.

One kicks, the other sways. One sticks, the other moves.

“Damn Shego… You're making me work for it today!” Kim quips as she dodges some of her maneuvers.

“Yah!... Do you ever shut up?!” she ripostes.

Kim dons a look of confused concern. “Is it that time of the month? Normally you like witty banter? It's kind of your thing.”

“NAH!” Shego brutishly roars as she keeps trying to smack the stupid look off of her rival’s face.

…

After a while of tangling with the buffoon and his disgusting creature, Drakken is able to grab hold of Rufus and toss him at Ron, sending the two tumbling to the floor all cartoon like.

“I don't care if it's a reboot! Live-action just won't work! It's meant to be a cartoon!” the grown man cries before turning his attention to his teleporter.

…

Too distracted by their kerfuffle to realize just where they're footed, Kim and Shego wander onto the teleportation pad…

And in that moment, without realizing where they are…

Drakken activates the device.

…

_FLASH!_

…

When the metaphorical bells and whistles stop, Ron and Drakken look up to see a cloud of smoke.

“Well that wasn't supposed to happen…” Drakken thinks aloud.

The smoke gradually clears to reveal Kim and Shego.

Only, they've become closer.

Too close.

Because, they are literally attached- the tops of their bodies meeting at the stomach, like some sort of ungodly abomination.

…

Needless to say, they freak out.

“AHHHHH!” they both scream upon seeing what's happened to them.

…

“Dang it! Why can't I just get _one_ stupid contraption to work!” Drakken curses to himself without knowing what's before him.

“Uhh, dude....” Ron says as he pokes his arm, and he gestures him to look at the newly combined females.

…

“EWWWW!” both men cry as they cringe.

…

Kim and Shego both use their arms to try and pull away from each other, but it's moot. They are literally stuck together.

“Oh god, oh god!” Kim cries.

“DRAKKEN! You better fucking fix this, right fucking now!” Shego demandingly yells.

…

“Okay, okay! Just relax!” Drakken pleas as she motions closer to them. He stops midway. _“Uhh_ it's just so gross!”

…

“Ron!” Kim desperately calls to him.

“This is bad, KP. This is really bad.”

“Really?!” she bluntly tells him. “Do something!”

“Like what?!” he hollers as Rufus dry heaves in the distance.

…

“I don't know… But one of you idiots better fix this before I-” Shego yells before she's cut off by Ron.

“Okay! Hey! I've got it! I'll just call Wade and he’ll-”

“NO!” Kim interrupts. “Do _not_ call Wade. I will _not_ let him see me like this!”

…

Shego frowns as she holds her half up crabwalk style. “Listen, princess. I don't wanna be stuck with you as my bottom for the rest of my life. So if nerdlinger says call Wade, you let him call Wade!”

“Stop yelling! All of this bad news is giving me a headache…” Drakken whines as he rubs his temples.

…

“Well sorry if we've inconvenienced you Doctor, but we're kind of fucking stuck here!” Shego shouts.

…

“Stop being a baby… I know how to fix this,” Drakken tells the two adjoined ladies.

“You do?!” they both cry in unison.

“Yes… I'll simply saw you in half, and then-”

“NO!”

…

He laughs as they meet him with mortified looks.

“I'm just _teasing!_ Yeesh… Everyone is so serious nowadays…”

Kim frowns. “Yeah, well, forgive us for not finding humor in the sitch here,” she groans.

…

“I _may_ actually be able to help you though. Even _I’m_ not evil enough to leave you two like this,” Drakken tells them.

Now Kim gets crabwalky. “So what do you have in mind?” she pitifully asks.

“Well, I know a guy. He's not exactly a people person- in fact he’s barely a person… But he might be able to tell me how to reverse the effects of, ehh… Whatever you call _this,”_ he explains.

…

Shego tries to face palm, but it's too awkward given her situation. “Just please fix this, Dr. D…” she uncharacteristically pleas. “My life was stressful enough…”

…

Kim looks to her with a sympathetic gaze, then let's her eyes wander to their now shared midsection.

 _“So_ the drama…” she bemoans, letting her half fall to the floor.

…

...

Dr. Drakken finishes calling said “guy,” and turns back to the women. “Alright, I'm off to go meet him… Needless to say, I will not be using the teleporter,” he tells them.

Kim and Shego both flip him off without a word.

…

“You, bozo,” Drakken calls to Ron.

“Me?” he responds, caught off guard.

“I need a second hand for this. You're it,” he orders, tossing him some car keys.

“Wh- Why me?” he asks.

“Because you're the only other person here with legs at the moment,” Drakken reasons.

 …

Ron conflictingly looks to Kim, who sadly frowns.

“Please Ron… Just do as he says…”

…

He sighs. “Alright. For you, Kim,” he says with a soft smile, and he follows Drakken to the exit.

“Alright, ladies… We shall return post-haste!... _Don’t go anywhere!_ Tee hee hee!” he jokes before leaving.

…

“He’s such a dick,” Shego cusses.

…

“Don't worry, Kim. I'll figure this out. You can count on me!” Ron declares before leaving as well.

…

Now alone, Kim dejectedly looks to Shego, who just looks back with her usual chagrin.

“He’s a dick, too…” she adds.

…

Again, Kim let's her half fall to the floor.

“This is going to be a _long_ day…”

\-----------------------

The next few minutes are spent in tense silence as both women try to get comfortable.

It is _not_ easy.

For starters, both of them have phantom limb sensations regarding their respective legs, which apparently just disappeared during the teleportation process.

“What do you think happened to our legs?” Kim anxiously asks Shego.

She scoffs. “Hell if I know… But I better get mine back…”

…

After a moment, Shego replaces her anger with sadness. “I miss my ass…”

“I miss your ass, too…” Kim says, without really thinking about how Shego could take it.

She sits her half up, raising a conflicted brow at the young hero’s words. “You miss my ass?”

…

 _Now_ realizing just how she worded her sentiment, Kim sits her half up to meet her. “Wait- that _totally_ came out wrong, I didn’t mean it like-”

Shego smiles and laughs. “Haha! Wow, Kimmie… I mean, not that I’m offended. I _do_ have a nice ass… I just always thought of you as such a prude…” she jokes as she lets her half lie back on the floor.

“Ooo…” she groans.

…

Disregarding the awkward verbal exchange regarding Shego’s gloots, Kim grows concerned over her groan.

“What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t feel it?” Shego asks.

“No- I mean, I only feel- my part… Why? Do you feel me? Do you feel this?!” Kim neurotically asks as she begins clenching her fist again and again.

“No…” Shego mulls as what little amusement she got fades away.

…

“Okay…” Kim dully responds, and then she lets out an “Ooo” of her own.

“See what I mean?” Shego says.

“Yeah… Oh god this feels so weird… I really hope-”

“Don’t say it,” Shego sharply interrupts. “They _will_ come back, and Drakken _will_ fix this…”

...

“Actually, I was gonna say, I really hope… Well…” Kim starts, but she stops.

“What?” Shego inquires.

“Never mind… I don’t want to put my foot in my mouth again,” Kim insists.

Shego sits her half up again and looks to Kim with one of her familiar looks of pessimism.

“Well, good luck with that…” she ripostes. “Seriously. What were you gonna say?”

…

Kim thinks it over for a moment, then sits her half up.

“Uhm… Well… What if we have to… You know… Go to the bathroom?”

…

Shego just looks to her with a mortified expression… Then lets out a blood-curdling scream.

“AHHHHH!”

Kim recovers from the sudden noise pollution, and watches on as Shego continues to freak out, screaming many, _many_ obscenities about how she’s very dissatisfied with the quote-unquote “sitch.”

“Shego… Shego! Calm down!”

“Calm down?! How the hell am I supposed to calm down when I’m stuck to you?!”

“Shego… You just said Drakken would fix this. Now if we’re going to make it through this, we need to keep our cool… Even if it is actually the worst thing to ever happen to us…” Kim assures her, sorrowfully adding on the latter part.

…

Shego sighs, falling back down to the cold hard floor.

“Yeah… It really is, isn’t it?”

…

They fall back into silence. It lasts for a few minutes before both girls begin to feel a pain in their stomach.

They both sickly groan, holding onto their ribs to try and subside the discomfort.

“Oh Christ… I seriously hope we don’t have to do that thing you mentioned,” Shego remarks.

“No… But… Man, I am _really_ hungry all of a sudden,” Kim admits as their stomach growls.

“Yeah, me too,” Shego agrees.

…

They both look around, and their eyes wander to the kitchen hallway. Normally, it’d be a trivial matter of just getting up and walking in to get some sustenance. However, given their complicated dilemma…

…

“Shiiiit… I just remembered…” Shego bemoans.

“What?” Kim simply responds.

“I bought a big bag of nutty nut bars last week. I really crave those when I PMS…”

…

Kim’s mouth waters as she visualizes the aforementioned candies.

“Alright, I know we’ve never seen eye-to-eye Shego, but this is-”

“Yeah, yeah. Spare me the mushy stuff. Let’s just- try and figure out how to get to the kitchen.”

“Right! It’ll be like moving a dresser! Except… It’s us…”

…

They awkwardly raise their shared body up like they would if they were going to crabwalk alone. “Alright, you lead the way,” Kim instructs Shego, who is closer to the kitchen.

With all of their arm strength, they begin to maneuver their way towards the other room. Shego moves a little too fast for Kim, who moves a little to slow for Shego.

“Will you pick it up, Possible?” she barks.

“I’m trying! You’re going too fast!”

“Ahhh, fuck this… Roll over,” Shego tells her.

“What?!” Kim dubiously responds.

“We’ll go faster this way!” Shego insists, and she begins turning over from the supine position to the prone, practically forcing Kim to do the same.

“Okay, okay! Easy!” she cries. “Jeez… If you’re like this in the sack-”

“Shut up!” Shego whines.

…

Together, they “walk” into the kitchen, Shego directing them. They pass the boundary between carpet and tile, and once Shego’s palms have touched the kitchen floor, she looks up to her beloved nutty nut bars.

“Why do they have to be so far away?” she moans.

“Shego, my arms are getting tired. Hurry up!” Kim cries.

“Chill out, drama queen… I’m on it,” Shego sharply retorts. “And don’t you have like, freakish upper arm strength?”

“Uhh, I’m pretty sure we’re evenly toned, so that makes you a freak too,” Kim ripostes.

“Whatever, just move,” Shego simply says, and they both muster the strength to press on to the counter that the candies rest upon.

…

“Alright, fuck. Game time, Possible. I need you to boost me up to reach the counter,” Shego instructs.

“No! I told you my arms are tired!” she retorts.

“Hey! You’re lucky I’m offering to share my sad time snacks with you in the first place!” Shego angrily responds.

“Shego, seriously. I’m gonna pull a muscle or something, and then we’ll both be screwed. How about you boost _me_ up?” Kim suggests.

“What? The hell with that! That’s _degrading,”_ Shego reasons.

Kim rolls her eyes. “Well, degrading or not- and this whole _thing_ is degrading, mind you… We’re both going hungry unless you boost me up.”

…

Shego thinks it over. “Well what if _my_ arms are tired?”

“Shego!”

“Alright, fine… But you better never tell _anyone_ about this,” she threatens Kim.

“Oh, trust me. You won’t have to worry about that…” she stoically responds as they awkwardly turn “theirself” around.

…

Kim sets her eyes on the prize, and then looks back to Shego. “You ready?” she asks.

“Just hurry up. I’m starving,” Shego unhappily groans.

With that, Kim positions herself against the counter, and Shego begins pushing like she’s doing a headstand. “Alright, Kimmie… Any time now…”

…

Kim fingers her way around the counter, awkwardly trying to grasp the open bag of candies. Eventually, she gets a hold of the torn bag with her fingertips.

“Alright, Shego. I’ve got ‘em!” she proudly announces.

To her surprise, she hears Shego snickering to herself. She looks down to her, and she’s really amused by something.

“What?” Kim bluntly asks.

…

“Pfff… Pfff… Uh, you never change Kim…” she laughs.

 _“What?!”_ Kim repeats, clearly getting impatient.

“Pfff… You have- little, pointy boobs!” Shego tells her.

Kim frowns at her sophomoric statement, and Shego just has a jolly old time laughing to herself.

…

Disregarding her schadenfreude induced laughter, Kim finally pulls down the bag, spilling the candies down on the floor like sweet chocolate rain. She can’t help but smile at her achievement, and even Shego is pleased.

“Oh thank god!” she expresses as she grabs one of the candy bars and unwraps it before stuffing her face with it.

As ungraceful as this whole ordeal is, Kim feels good seeing Shego so happy over something as simple as chocolate and peanut butter.

That, and she finds that the candy’s pretty good too.

…

...

After a while of stuffing their faces with succulent sugary sweets, Shego’s smile wanes. In fact, as Kim watches her, she realizes just how _unhappy_ Shego looks. Like, she’s always a _little_ grumpy, but this is different. Like, she’s _depressed._

…

“Hey, uh, Shego?” she begins.

She doesn’t verbally reply because she’s busy munching on a nutty nut bar, but she meets Kim’s eyes with an indifferent glare- enough to acknowledge her.

So Kim proceeds. “Uhm… What did you mean when you said these were your ‘sad time’ snacks?”

…

Shego gets wide eyed at her question, and quickly gulps down her food. Then she frowns. “It’s nothing, Kim… Don’t worry about it…” she simply says, and she leaves it at that as she finishes her last candy bar.

Then, she stretches her arms out. “Well, that was fun, but I need to go get my phone. I left it in the other room,” she tells Kim.

…

Kim sighs with defeat. “Alright, let’s try this again,” she says, and they roll over to “walk” back into the main lair.

…

Midway through, Shego begins snickering again. Kim rolls her eyes. “Yes, my boobs aren’t very round. I’m aware of this,” she reluctantly admits.

“No, it’s not that,” Shego replies, piquing Kim’s curiosity. “Actually… I was just thinking… At least I didn’t end up getting stuck like this with Drakken… That would’ve _really_ sucked,” she says.

It makes Kim chuckle. “You know, that’s actually kind of funny.”

…

They awkwardly get to their destination, and Shego picks up her phone with one hand while continuing to support her half with the other. She’s quick to unlock it and study whatever it is she’s so intent on checking.

Kim… Just kind of watches her. In a strange way, she’s thankful too that she’s stuck with Shego and not someone else. Drakken? Oh god… Ron? That wouldn’t be so bad, but he’d do a lot of whining, and a lot of worrying- two things Shego hasn’t been _too_ bad about. Rufus?...

She cringes at that thought.

…

Shego stops checking her phone long enough to notice Kim gawking at her, and does a little double take before addressing her.

“Hey, why don’t you take a picture. It’ll last longer,” she quips.

…

And… Just something about the way she says it… Is hilarious. Kim can’t help but burst into laughter. It’s so carefree and unadulterated, she even snorts these charmingly goofy little snorts she’s laughing so hard.

It makes Shego uneasy. “Jeez Kim, relax. It wasn’t _that_ funny…” she insists.

But Kim just keeps happily losing herself, really letting herself enjoy this moment, unable to even get another word out because she’s laughing so hard.

“Kim, really… Come on…” Shego tries to tell her.

...

But, no matter how hard she tries to relent, no matter how hard she tries not let it get to her…

She can’t help but start laughing too.

And for a little while, they just enjoy the sound of each other’s laughter, even if this is supposed to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.

\-----------------------

Meanwhile, Dr. Drakken and Ron Stoppable make their commute to the so-called “guy” Drakken knows.

“Uhh, I gotta ask dude. Do you really think this guy can help Kim and Shego?” Ron asks while driving.

“What?” Drakken thoughtlessly responds, having nearly fallen asleep. “Mmm… Probably? I mean, he knows his astrophysiology and telepathy and trigonometry and blah blah blah…” he answers.

“Oh man…” Ron depressively says with a face palm.

...

“Hey, worst case scenario- I _also_ know a lawyer who knows another guy who can help us get new lives! For a nominal fee of course…” Drakken tells Ron with a smile, confidently leaning back in his seat.

But then, he ebbs, as he becomes concerned.

…

“So… They're really rebooting Snowman Hank?” he asks like a sad child.

“Yeah, they really are,” Ron simply answers.

…

“Do you think it will be good?” Drakken follows.

Ron sighs. “I hope so, man… I really do…”

\-----------------------

“No… Just… No…” Shego disappointedly tells Kim.

“Come on Shego. I’m just trying to look at the bright side of things,” Kim playfully tells her with a smile.

“You can’t be serious?” Shego retorts.

“You have to admit, it has a little bit of a ring to it… _Kigo!”_ Kim says, enunciating the portmanteau like an announcer. “It would be easier for people to call us that than ‘Kim and Shego’ all the time.”

…

Shego just frowns.

…

“Come on… I’m just having fun…” Kim tells her.

“Pshhh… Yeah, this is _so_ fun,” Shego scoffs. “And why does your name have to come first?”

“Shim doesn’t sound right,” Kim quips back.

She sees the way Shego won’t relent with her moodiness, and she deflates.

“Sorry…” she sadly utters.

…

Shego doesn’t say anything more, she just goes back to studying whatever it is she keeps looking at on her phone.

Deciding it’s pointless to try and continue any further conversation with the villainess, she checks her phone as well. Of course, her battery is critically low, practically dead.

“Dang it....” she groans. “I hope Ron’s okay…” she thinks aloud.

…

“Pffft, you’re worried about your boy toy?” Shego ribs. “He’s probably talking about cartoons with Drew while stuffing his fat face with nachos…”

Kim amusingly huffs. “Shyeah, that sounds like him alright… Boys are dumb…” she utters.

“Trouble in paradise?” Shego stoically asks.

“We- decided to just be friends…” Kim reveals to her, somewhat sadly. Shego just nods a little nod, surprisingly showing some interest. So, Kim decides to elaborate, if only to help pass time.

…

“He wants to go to a different college than me, and well… He’s just… He’s just…”

“A doofus?” Shego suggests.

“No,” Kim responds.

“An idiot?”

“Not that…”

“A man-boy?”

…

“Well-” Kim considers. “Yes…”

…

She sighs. “He just doesn’t look at the big picture like I do,” she says.

Shego’s eyes widen, and she gives her her full attention. Something about Kim’s statement struck a chord.

“He’s always talking about things I just- can’t take interest in! I think about life, and family, and how I’m going to make the most of my life!... He just wants to talk about-”

“Snowman Hank?” Shego finishes for her.

...

Kim meets her eyes. She sees the way her demeanor has changed, and- it makes her heart flutter. Like, she might actually be having a _moment_ with _Shego._

“Snowman Hank…” she softly says back.

…

And for a moment, they just look to each other, before it gets a little awkward and they shift their focus to some super interesting spots on the floor.

The silence is tense, and it lasts for a few moments. Kim tries to think of how she should continue, or if she even should. Like, it’s one thing for Shego to indulge her a little, but wouldn’t it be rude of her to just keep rambling on about herself?

But then, why does she seem so interested?

…

Finally, the silence is broken, and it’s Shego to break it.

“Kim, I have to tell you something, but I swear to god you better not get all Full House Saturday morning on me…” she tells her while pointing her finger at her.

…

Never in the history of history has Shego asked to confide in Kim Possible, and she actually considers the possibility that- maybe she’s never asked to confide in anyone _ever._

So, of course she’s going to listen. _So_ big.

…

“Okay?” she simply says.

And Shego proceeds to begin with a sigh. “I’m getting out of the game, Kim. I’m done.”

…

Kim’s eyes widen, and her heart begins pounding even more. It’s not at all what she expected Shego to say, even if she really had _no idea_ what to expect.

“What?” is all she can get out.

…

“I’m tired, Kim. I’m tired of helping Drakken with his stupid plans, I’m tired of going through the motions week in and week out. I’m tired of Snowman Hank… I’m even tired of… fighting you…”

“What- what do you mean?” Kim nervously asks.

“Kim, the only fun I have doing this crap is trying to kick your ass,” she admits with a somber little smile. “It gave me something to look forward to…”

Kim just watches on with all of these conflicted feelings as Shego continues revealing this information.

…

“But… It just- got old. No matter how hard I try, you _always_ win… And don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want you to _let_ me win. That’d be worse than losing…”

Her smile fades.

“I just, I don’t know… I’m not happy anymore. It’s not fun anymore… I used to get excited when you’d swoop in all ‘here to save the day’... Now, honestly… _Nothing_ makes me excited… I just feel- empty…”

…

It’s all very sudden for Kim. At the proverbial drop of the hat, Shego’s gone from bitter enemy- to the girl pouring her heart out.

There’s dissonance, sure. Shego’s a bad guy, a _true_ heel. She’s not supposed to have feelings.

And yet, all Kim can feel is… sympathy. Maybe not even that. Maybe it’s something... more _._ Something… deeper.

Like, she knows what she means.

…

But, it probably doesn't matter. Because, at the second drop of a hat, Shego goes right back to being herself.

“Why am I telling you all of this? It’s not like _you_ understand…” she coldy tells Kim as she crosses her arms and looks away.

…

Kim thinks it over for a moment, trying to decide just what to say to that. She wants to say the right thing, the _perfect_ thing to make this a turning point in their relationship. She said herself she’s sick of fighting, sick of this lifestyle…

...

“Maybe… It’s time for a change…” Kim softly speaks.

...

Shego faces her again, somewhat easing up.

So Kim continues, and leans up to place her hand on her shoulder. Which, is too awkward, especially given their being stuck together and all, and she takes it back off.

“Shego… It’s obvious you’re tired of being Drakken’s-”

“Easy Kim,” Shego sharply tells her.

“... _Assistant,”_ Kim settles for. “You’re capable of so much more than doing his dirty work. I’ve seen it,” Kim asserts.

“Pshhh… If you’re thinking about when I was messed up by Electronique’s attitudinator, remember that that _wasn’t_ the real me…” Shego says, referring to the time she was briefly turned into a regular nice person.

…

“Fine, but still… You owe it to yourself to be happy Shego. You owe it to yourself to try and live your life to the fullest!” Kim tells her. “As long as nobody gets hurt,” she’s sure to add.

…

Shego sighs. “You’re probably right,” she admits. She sullenly takes her phone back out, and unlocks it before handing it to Kim.

Skeptically, she accepts the phone, and looks down to it.

…

The screen displays a vacation booking site, with places like Key Largo, the Bahamas, and Belize highlighted by Shego.

Kim looks back up to her with concern in her eyes.

“Why are you showing me this?”

…

“Drakken knows this lawyer, who knows this guy. A guy who can help me start over… Change my life,” Shego explains. “I know I can’t live a normal life, Kim. Not after all the things I’ve done,” she remorsefully says.

“Well… Maybe you could,” Kim feignedly says back. “I mean, yeah, you’ve done some bad things… But all things considered, you’ve never done anything… _Horrible,”_ she says with a _little_ more conviction.

…

Shego waves her off. “No Kim, I’m a bad guy. I always have been. I’ve hurt everyone who’s ever tried to care about me, and I don’t deserve a second chance… I’m going to call this guy, and I’m never looking back,” she boldly states.

But then she remembers she’s where Kim’s butt used to be, and vice versa.

“...That’s- assuming Drakken can fix this.”

…

Another moment falls into silence. Shego just mulls to herself while Kim tries to think of the right, perfect thing to say again.

As she does, she sneaks little glances at Shego here and there. Not full-on _looks,_ just… little glances.

They’re so close after all, it’s kind of hard not to.

…

And the more she studies her, the more she remembers… She’s beautiful. It never really donned on her as she villainously fought with her all those times, but when she was “Miss Go” for a short while, she saw her in this new light.

Seeing her so vulnerable again, even more so now that she’s confided in her something so personal, so intimate…

It makes her feel something new for her.

…

She tries putting her hand on her shoulder again, and this time, she doesn’t stop herself. Shego looks back into her green eyes, and Kim makes a point to look back into them without hesitation.

“Shego… We’re getting out of this, one way or another. I always say anything’s possible for a Possible but- the hell with that. Anything’s possible for _you,_ Shego… And I mean that.”

…

The apprehension of Shego’s behalf disappears. The look of pain in her eyes is replaced by something new and wonderful, just like Kim’s feeling.

And for a while, they just stare into each other’s eyes, sharing whatever this new, wonderful science of understanding is between them.

…

Until some unwelcome guests arrive…


	2. Chapter 2

Ron and Drakken pull into the driveway of “the guy’s” lair… Which, is just a regular suburban home. Ron shuts off the engine of the car, and nervously looks to Drakken, who really isn’t much more relaxed.

“Alright, Stoopable-”

“Stoppable! _Stopp-a-ble!”_

“Whatever… Alright, Stoppable… When we get in there, _I_ do all the talking. You say _nothing.”_

“So what am I even here for?” Ron bluntly asks.

“Because this guy is a total dick, that’s why,” Drakken bluntly responds. “He’s invaluable as an asset, but he’s a total ball buster, and always makes fun of me when I come alone.”

…

“O-kay?” Ron responds.

Rufus pops out of his shirt pocket, and they both share a little shrug with each other.

…

“See, normally I have Shego, and he doesn’t mess with Shego. He knows better.”

“Ahh, I get it,” Ron says with a grin. “You need me for the intimidation factor…”

...

“No,” Drakken simply tells him, and Ron deflates. “I need you to be the butt of all the jokes instead of me.”

“Hey!” Ron whines.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby. You’ll never see this doucher again, and you’re doing it to help your _pwecious Kim Possibwle!”_ Drakken taunts.

“Fine, whatever. But if he crosses the line, I’ll show both of you why KP keeps me around!” Ron says, trying to sound tough.

…

“Hmm hmm hmm,” Drakken amusingly huffs. “Probably for the same reason you’re here with me.”

…

With that, Drakken gets out of the car, and begins walking to the entrance, leaving Ron to mull to himself.

“What a dick,” Ron grumbles.

“Stoopable! Let’s go!” Drakken yells from outside.

…

“Stoppable!”

\-----------------------

Back at Drakken’s lair, Kim and Shego’s intimate gazing is cut short by the sound of a loud boom near the main entrance.

“What was that?” Kim thinks aloud.

“Not Drakken,” Shego answers.

“I know. We need to hide,” Kim firmly states.

“Ah, fuck,” Shego curses, and they both awkwardly get back on all fours to maneuver behind a nearby couch.

…

Then, the perpetrators are revealed to be Monkey Fist and Professor Dementor as they make the scene.

“Dr. Drakken! We know you have the technology to create a teleportation device!” Dementor proclaims.

“Yes, come out now so we may resolve this-” Monkey Fist begins, but he pauses so the two villains may share an even laugh. _“...Peacefully.”_

…

“Ahh shit,” Shego quietly curses. “Krusty and Mr. Teeny are here…”

“How did they know about the teleporter?” Kim quietly asks.

“How did you?” Shego rebuts.

…

“Facebook,” they both answer in unison.

…

“Drakken really isn’t very smart, is he?” Kim asks.

“You see why I’m ready to bounce?” Shego follows.

…

“Come on, Drew… We promise not to tear your lovely new lair up _too_ bad,” Dementor taunts.

 _“Or_ Shego…” Monkey Fist lasciviously adds.

“Oh, dude! Be cool!” Dementor scolds.

…

“Bleck!” Kim and Shego both disgustedly blurt out.

…

Dementor makes his way over to the teleportation device. “Ooo! Well what do you know, Monkey Fist?… He already built the teleporter for us! That was so nice of him!”

“Ha! With it, we may now teleport whenever and wherever we please!” Monkey Fist announces.

“Yes! Like… Uhm… Hmm…” Dementor thinks aloud. “Oh, well never mind it now. We’ll worry about it later. All that matters is I get my turn first.”

“What? I have a whole army of monkey ninjas! I need it more!” Monkey Fist argues.

“So? I’m an evil genius! Evil genius trumps Animal-villain on the villain scale!” Dementor retorts.

“I’m an evil _monkey_ genius!”

“That’s actually still lower than a normal evil genius. Higher than regular animal-villain though, so there’s that…”

…

As the two villains continue arguing, Kim and Shego exchange concerned looks at one another.

“Okay, we need to stop them,” Kim whispers.

“What? Why?” Shego unenthusiastically responds.

“Because who knows what they’ll use that thing for!”

“Well, apparently not those two,” Shego retorts.

…

“Shego, seriously. If Drakken could do _this_ to us… Imagine what those two could do with that thing!”

…

She thinks it over for a moment, then nods. “Okay, you have a point. But how the hell are we supposed to fight them like this?”

“Well… Apparently I have freakish upper arm strength, so it shouldn’t be too big a problem…” Kim petulantly replies.

“I meant it as a compliment,” Shego tells her, all snarkiness aside.

Kim just crosses her arms as she looks to her with skepticism.

Shego rolls her eyes. “Okay, so I meant it as an insult _at the time…_ But, like you said, we’re evenly toned…” she remorsefully adds.

…

Kim smiles at her rare gesture of sincerity. “Okay… But you’re gonna have to be the bottom,” she instructs.

“What?! Fuck that! I’m not being your bottom!” Shego yells, forgetting that they were supposed to be discreet.

And… they’re heard.

…

“Ahhh! Well I believe I hear Miss Shego now!” Dementor announces.

“Nice going,” Shego scolds Kim.

“What?! _You_ blew our cover!” Kim argues.

…

But it doesn’t matter. Dementor and Monkey Fist make their way over to the couch, and the latter uses his strength to flip the couch out of the way, revealing the adjoined females.

And… it greatly disturbs them.

“EYEAH!” Dementor cries as he backs away in terror at the sight of Kim and Shego being conjoined at the waist. “What in _god’s_ name happened to you two?” he adds.

“Drakken and his teleporter happened. Now do you want _anything_ to do with this?” Kim states.

…

Monkey Fist crosses his arms and looks to his cohort with a look of antipathy.

Dementor nervously bites his nails, then shakes his head. “You know what? I really don’t. Even I’m not _that_ evil!” he declares, and he proceeds to run out of the lair.

…

“Oh, you good for nothing-!” Monkey Fist begins to curse as he shakes his monkey fist at the retreatist. But he decides to quickly get over it, and turns his attention to “Kigo.”

…

“Well? What are you waiting for? Get out of here!” Shego yells.

“Pshhh… I’m not going to let your new look scare me off… In fact… It’s kind of hot,” Monkey Fist says with a creepy smile.

…

“Uck!” Kim blurts out.

“That’s fucked up, dude,” Shego bluntly tells him.

“Hey, it’s honestly not even the _weirdest_ thing that’s turned me on,” he says with a nonchalant little shrug.

…

Kim and Shego just share a look of disgust.

…

“Enough tomfoolery! If you two- or, whatever it is now, wish to engage in battle… So be it!” Monkey Fist declares before taking a fighting stance.

…

Kim affirmatively nods to Shego, who returns the gesture with one of her own.

“If you tell anyone about this-”

“I know, now shut up and be my legs,” Kim cuts her off.

…

And with that, Shego does a handstand, and Kim balances herself as the “top” of their body. She cocks her fists, and readies for a fight.

Unfortunately, Monkey Fist is able to knock them down with one crane kick.

…

They hit the floor, and rub the tender spots from the fall. Monkey Fist just lets out an evil laugh. “Hahaha! Is that really the best you can do, Possible?”

…

The two ladies share another affirming look, this time conveying mutual anger. Shego quickly pushes her half up again, and Kim quickly balances herself into a fighting position like before.

Monkey Fist just smiles, and then goes for a straight jab. Kim is able to dodge it, and Shego is able to maintain balance. It breaks Monkey Fist out of his sense of security, and he furrows his brow as he prepares to take the fight to them some more.

\-----------------------

Outside of a suburban home, Drakken and Ron anxiously anticipate “the guy”  granting them permission into his lair.

“Does he even know we’re here?” Ron whispers.

“Yes, you fool. Just be patient. And remember- make me look cool,” he orders.

“Oh... I’ll make you look-”

…

The door opens, revealing some curly headed ginger fuck with dorky glasses. “Drakken! What’s up, big guy?” the peculiar, yet somehow handsome stranger greets.

“James!... Long time, no see, am I right?” Drakken quips back.

“Hahaha! Yeah! Already fuck up the teleporter?” James quips with a playful backhand smack to Drakken’s chest.

“Heh heh… Not _necessarily…”_

…

James looks past the gentlemen with suspicion, then measures up Ron.

“Who’s the fat guy?” he asks Drakken, referring to Ron.

Ron just crosses his arms and frowns, while Drakken smiles the hokiest of smiles.

“This is my cousin, Rob-”

“Ron,” Ron corrects.

“...Ron!” Drakken says.

…

James looks to Ron with more suspicion, then smiles and forcefully shakes Ron’s hand.

“Hey Ron! Nice to meet’cha! I’m James. Call me whatever you want, just don’t call me late for dinner! Know what I’m sayin’?” he says in the most assholey of ways imaginable.

“I’ll uh- stick with James,” Ron coyly says.

…

“Well what are you waiting for, dudes? Get in here! I was just about to do some blow, fingerpaint, and watch some porn! And _not_ in that order, ha ha!” James tells them, and he motions them inside.

“I told you he was a dick,” Drakken whispers to Ron.

“Yeah, I see that now,” he simply responds.

…

They follow the shorter gentleman into his home, which is actually pretty quaint for a supposed lair.

“So where’s your futa, Dr. D? She paying bills while you screw off here?” James quips.

“Oh, uh, she couldn’t come. Uh, that’s actually what I needed to ask you about…” Drakken reveals. “What’s a futa?” he whispers to Ron, blocking his face with his hand so James can’t hear.

…

“Ah, right. Of course you only call when you _need_ something… ‘James, I need a teleporter…’ or ‘James, I need more lube for my butthole!’ Hahaha… You smellin’ what I’m cookin’ Ron?” he says as he playfully nudges the sidekick with his elbow.

“Did he really ask for lube?” Ron asks.

“No!” Drakken defensively shouts.

…

“Relax, D… I’m just fuckin’ with ya…” James casually assures him as he gets a beverage from the fridge. “You want one, Ron?” he politely asks.

“Sure,” he says with a smile.

James hands him a soda, and then offers one to Drakken. Drakken wipes the pout off his face momentarily, but then James acts like he’s going to shake the pop up and spray it all over his face like a douche-bro. James and Ron laugh, but Drakken just ruefully frowns.

“Hahaha! Lighten, up D! Alright, come in the living room so we can talk this thing out.”

…

He steps forward, and Ron and Drakken just stay behind for a moment. Rufus pops out of Ron’s pocket, and laughs at Drakken’s expense.

“Put a sock in it, Leslie…” Drakken tells the rodent.

\-----------------------

Monkey Fist goes for a flying savate kick, but Kim and Shego are able to redirect him into the nearest wall.

He connects with it, and slides down the wall as he rubs his tender head.

Shego steps forward with her hands as Kim continues cocking her fists, but then she stops. “Hey, pun’kin… How about letting me have some fun for a bit?” she suggests.

“Sure, Shego. As long as you promise to stay _on top_ of things…” Kim jokes.

“Oy…” Shego simply groans, and the ladies proceed to adjust their halves into their new positions.

…

Monkey Fist recovers, and stands himself up.

“Ha! If you think you fools can come out of this in one piece; you’re sadly mistaken!” he announces.

…

“Monkey ninjas! Attack!” he calls, and on cue, several of his simian minions manifest from all directions.

“Bull,” Kim cusses.

“Hey, you already agreed to be the bottom,” Shego reminds her.

“Yup. And this bottom is going with plan B,” she says, and she promptly “runs” away.

“Hey- what the-?!” Shego cries as Kim carries her off.

...

The monkey ninjas chase after them, and are fastly approaching.

“Fuck, shit, damn it… Woah!” Shego wails as she can’t help but fall over.

“What happened?!” Kim yells.

“I don’t know! I guess I’m a better bottom!”

…

They look to see the monkeys, and pull their heads out of their metaphorical asses to get going again, this time settling for “running” on all fours.

“Oh my god, this is so hard!” Kim cries.

“If we get out of this alive, Possible… I’ll buy you a drink!” Shego exclaims.

“I’m only eighteen!” she responds.

“We’ll go to Canada, then!”

…

They keep moving as fast as they can, but the monkeys are too fast. They’re so close that one is almost able to grab Kim by her nose.

“Shego!” she yells.

…

Just then, Shego realizes she has an opportunity to turn the odds back in their favor. A narrow support beam is in her line of sight, just a few feet away.

“Pole, Kim! Pole!” she yells.

“What?” Kim questions, trying to turn her head back to see what the heck she’s talking about. She’s able to- just enough, as Shego readies to lunge toward the beam.

In the nick of time, Kim thrusts their body forward, and Shego grabs on to the beam, allowing them to do a 180 degree spin around it. Kim instinctively throws her fist out, and serendipitously connects to the face of one of the monkey ninjas.

…

They fly off of the beam, and safely land a few feet away on their hands. They both smile at their amazing feat, but quickly get their heads back in the game as more monkeys come.

…

“Forget them! Help me steal this stupid teleporter!” Monkey Fist shouts with his thick English accent.

A few of the monkeys obey, and they all rush over to the device with their master while the remaining monkeys pursue Kim and Shego.

“Fuck it, Kim. You’re topping this shit,” Shego elegantly states, and she propels their body up to a fighting stance once more.

“You know Shego… I think I’ve just now realized something,” Kim says as she cocks her fists again.

“What’s that, princess?”

“Your boobs are as big as mine…”

“Yours are still pointy,” Shego ripostes.

\-----------------------

“That’s fucked up, dude… Did you take a picture?” ginger James asks Drakken after hearing how Kim and Shego came to be conjoined.

“What? No…” Drakken simply responds.

“Oh… Well damn, dude… I don’t know if I can help you with that one…” James disappointedly says.

“What?! You’ve gotta be joking!” Ron blurts out.

…

James just sits there for a moment trying to keep a straight face, but then bursts into laughter. “Yeah, you got me! Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha- Yeah, I can help,” he says, getting completely serious.

…

“Really? You can fix my oopsie?” Drakken eagerly asks.

“Yeah, I gotchu bro… You just need to find the legs…” James coolly explains.

…

Ron and Drakken both wear stupefied expressions.

James waits for an elaboration, but neither man says anything.

“Oh man, don’t tell me you don’t know where the legs are?”

…

“Well… I have an idea where they might be… But who knows if they’ll be in one piece after what happened to Kim and Shego,” Drakken answers.

“Ah. So you’re saying they’re probably at that museum you told me about, all clusterfucked into a big wad of leggy flesh?” James speculates. “That’s gross…”

Drakken moans. “Ehh… Okay, so I guess we need to go there-”

“Hey! Try taking the teleporter!” James jokes before bursting into more laughter.

“Yes, hilarious… Now I’m afraid we have to be going. I have to help Kim!” Ron declares.

Rufus pops out of his pocket to affirmatively huff.

…

“Ahh man… I was having fun hanging with you guys! I was just about to sing a song for you guys too…” James says as he pulls out a fancy black guitar. “Hold on- let me- real quick…”

He starts clearing his throat all obnoxiously, and wailing these horrendous notes, trying and failing miserably to make them sound right.

“Wait, wait, wait… Ooo ah oh ahhhh!....”

...

“Yeah, we really can’t stay, James. We really have to go help Kim and Shego…” Drakken says as he cringes.

Fortunately, James stops.

“Aren’t you supposed to be really evil, dude?  Why you in such a hurry to go help your arch enemy?” he inquires.

…

“I can’t just leave them like that! Even I’m not _that_ evil…” Drakken answers.

…

James just nods. “Fair enough. Alrighty then,I’ll text you the specifications for the teleporter. And don’t be a stranger, Drakken! Oh! And did you hear they’re rebooting Snowman Hank?! They’re making a live action movie on-”

“Yes, yes… I already heard the abysmal news this morning…” he complains as he and Ron pace towards the exit.

“Oh… Well then I guess I’ll see ya after bit. Oh! And I posted a new chapter of my Loud House fic! You should really read it! I make Luan stick her hand down a toilet!” James enthusiastically tells the villainous doctor.

…

“Yes, well- time permitting and all, heh heh… Au revoir, James!” Drakken says, rushing Ron out the door.

…

They get outside.

“What the hell did he mean by that?” Ron asks.

“Don’t ask scary questions. You’ll get scary answers…” Drakken tells him. “Keys,” he says to Ron, holding his hand out to beckon for them.

“What? Oh- Yeah, cool. I hate driving this time of day,” Ron complains.

…

Drakken presses a button on the key fob, and the headlights to the car flash.

Ron watches on, and grows discomfited. “Hey… Why’d we drive anyway? Don’t you have a-”

…

Before he can finish, the car transforms into an aircraft. Drakken just casually makes his way to the pilot’s seat while Ron dumbly watches on.

“Aren’t you coming?” he asks.

…

Belatedly, Ron responds, “Ehh, uhh… What the heck, man?!”

“What?” Drakken simply replies.

“This thing was a hovercraft the whole time?!”

“Yeah, so?”

 _“So?!_ So we could’ve flown here!” Ron barks.

…

“James doesn’t like it when fly in,” Drakken reasons.

“What?! You’re literally about to fly it now?!”

“It’s different when I fly out. That doesn’t bother him. He’s just worried I’ll crash into his house _flying in.”_

…

Ron just grumpily pouts for a moment, and Rufus joins him. They get over it though, and make their way to the vessel to assume shotgun.

“Now, to the Sikowitz museum!” Drakken proclaims.

“Hey, that’s where the only remaining authentic Snowman Hank Carrot Nose is! It’s like, the most heavily guarded museum in all of Kentucky!” Ron recalls.

“Indeed,” Drakken responds. “This probably isn’t going to be easy…”

…

Ron just face palms. But then, the proverbial light bulb flashes. “I know! I’ll call Wade! He can help us get in!”

“Who’s Wade? Your guy?” Drakken asks.

“Uhh, yeah,” Ron says with a wince.

“Excellent! _Finally_ one of my schemes will work!” Drakken declares. Then he eases into a soft little smile. “You know, Stoopable? You’re not entirely useless after all.”

“Stoppable,” Ron sternly corrects him, but then he smiles too. “And thanks.”

…

Drakken turns on the ignition… And…

He crashes right into James’ house.

…

He and Ron both fearfully anticipate the backlash…

…

James steps outside to check the damage. “What the fucking fuck?!” he yells.

“Oh shit, bail! _Bail!”_ Drakken yells, and bail they do, leaving James standing alone outside of his destroyed home.

…

“I could always move to Canada I guess…” he thinks aloud.

…

“Nah, Canada’s terrible.”

\-----------------------

“I should’ve tried harder to get girlfriends in high school,” Monkey Fist curses as he and his minions attempt to dismount the teleportation pad from the floor.

Meanwhile, Kim and Shego fend off more of the ninja primates. They really do well too, formidably alternating between balancing their respective halves and throwing punches, and even quickly changing positions to chain together combos.

Finally, it would seem they've defeated the current threat, and they revert their focus to the other intruders.

…

The teleporter is bolted down pretty tight though, and even Monkey Fist and his several minions cannot get it to budge.

“This is bananas!” Monkey Fist curses, and all the monkeys stop to gasp.

“I apologize for using such language,” their master tells them.

…

“Okay Kim. While they're distracted, let's think of how to finish ‘em off!” Shego hollers. “Something that's easier on the arms…”

Kim contemplates the current sitch, trying to devise a solution to their dilemma.

There's a bunch of monkeys and a hairy old pervert huddled around a big metal thing on the ground, a big metal thing that manipulates time and space, a big metal thing that…

“That's it!” Kim exclaims. “Shego! Activation terminal- now!”

“Whoody whata?” Shego babbles.

“The thing to turn the teleporter on!”

…

Shego looks around at the monkeys, the terminal, and Kim’s face (and, subsequently, her pointy boobs). Kim's plan finally registers for her.

“Ohh…”

“Shego!”

“I'm going!” she shouts, and she hurries over to the terminal as Kim just tries to balance her half.

...

They get to the terminal, Kim studies the bells and whistles of the foreign device, but none of it is remotely familiar.

“Uhm… Maybe…”

“Cupcake? What are you waiting for?!” Shego ribs.

“I don’t know what to do! You didn’t happen to pay attention to what he did before, did you?” Kim asks.

“Oh yeah! Because I had the luxury of being able to watch him as some fire-crotch tried to bludgeon me to death!”

“Exaggerate much? I was not trying to _bludgeon_ you. In fact, you’re the one who went all psycho on me!” Kim argues.

“Hey, Kimmie, this great and all, but aren’t you supposed to be saving the day?”

“Oh, right…”

…

She looks back and forth between the terminal panel and the monkeys. At that moment, Monkey Fist takes his eyes off the teleporter to wipe sweat from his brow, and discovers Kim and Shego at the terminal.

“What are you doing?!” he shouts. “Stop them!” he yells to his minions.

…

“Just press something!” Shego barks.

Kim doesn’t hesitate. She just starts pressing everything on the terminal, until it finally flares up.

The two ladies turn their heads to see the commotion, and before long, all of the monkeys are shrouded by a flash of light, then a cloud of smoke.

…

It clears to reveal a disgusting blob of conjoined monkeys. There are arms and legs and tails protruding from all directions, and faces where asses used to be- and vice versa.

…

Fortunately for Monkey Fist, he was out of the harm’s way when the teleporter went off. Unfortunately, that doesn’t spare him from bearing witness to the conglomeration of monkeys before him.

“Huah!” he gasps. “My darlings!”

…

Shego and Kim just watch on with sickly expressions. Kim looks down to Shego, who looks up to her.

“That was pretty messed up Kim. And that’s coming from _me.”_

“I didn’t mean to! I thought they’d disappear or something!” she claims.

…

Meanwhile, Monkey Fist just gawks in terror at his now conjoined monkeys. He does a double take to look over to Kim and Shego, contemplating his next move.

“You guys are fucked up! Even I’m not _that_ evil!” he exclaims.

“I swear I didn’t mean to!” Kim cries.

…

Monkey Fist begins to roll his monkeys out of the area and retreat. “This simply is unethical! Oh come now my friends… I know a guy who can fix this… Assuming he’s not too busy watching pornography or writing- _ugh… fanfiction…”_

…

And with that, Kim and Shego live to fight another day.

Kim leans back against the terminal and sighs of relief. “Phew…”

…

“Uhm, hey, you gonna get down? All the blood’s rushing to my head,” Shego tells her as she tries to keep them upright.

“Oh! Sorry…” Kim apologizes, and she gently lets herself down to the floor.

...

They women just lie there for a little bit, catching their breath.

“Hey… We actually worked pretty well together…” Kim comments.

“Yeah, I guess we didn’t do so bad after all,” Shego says back.

…

They both “sit” up to meet each other’s eyes. Kim smiles at Shego, and Shego finds herself smiling back.

That is- until she realizes she’s smiling at _Kim Possible._

So she stops, and looks away all grumpy like. “Don’t get used to it…”

…

Normally, Kim would bust her chops at the obvious display of shallow bitchiness. But, after their _moment,_ she just can’t be upset with her. She just keeps grinning to herself as she lies back on the floor.

\-----------------------

Drakken and Ron, with Rufus, make their way out of the back entrance of the Sikowitz museum. Drakken is holding a makeshift leash, dragging something along behind him.

Ron pulls out his Kimmunicator, and calls Wade.

“What’s the sitch, Ron?” Wade asks.

“Ehh, it’s weird saying that without Kim around,” Ron comments.

“It really is,” Wade agrees. “Still…”

“We got what we came for,” Ron tells him.

…

“Maybe _you_ did!” Drakken snidely remarks.

“I wasn’t going to let you steal the Carrot!” Ron scolds.

“You are such a square! You and Possible think you’re all that! Well you’re not even close!” he yells as whatever is on the other end of his leash begins wandering off. He stops it with a firm tug.

…

“Good work, Ron… So… Kim and Shego-?” Wade begins before he’s cut off by Ron.

“Yeah, I know. Just, please don’t tell her I told you,” he requests.

“Uhm, trust me. I have _zero_ interest in bring it up to her.”

…

“Thanks again, Wade,” Ron tells him before hanging up.

He turns to Drakken, who is still moping about not being allowed to steal the Snowman Hank nose.

…

“That stupid movie better be good,” the villain groans.

\-----------------------

Much later, Shego and Kim are lying on the couch of the lair, scrolling through the bookings website Shego showed her earlier.

“Mmm, I kinda like this one…” Kim comments on a hotel/casino in Costa Rica.

“Meh,” Shego simply says before swiping right.

…

They attentively look to the next page, which displays a resort in Stockholm.

“Hey! Now this looks pretty nice,” Kim enthusiastically says. “I bet there are some cute Swedish guys there,” she adds with a smile as she looks to Shego.

She just rolls her eyes. “Meh…”

…

Kim furrows her brow. “What? Don’t like hot Swedish guys?” she quips.

“Honestly- I don’t even like _guys_ anymore. They’re all a bunch of idiot fuckboys…” Shego bluntly states. “I swear, sometimes I think about just becoming a lesbian…”

Kim blushes at her sheer honesty. “Uhm… Wow…”

...

Shego puts the phone down, letting out a heavy sigh. “Kim… If- _When_ we get out of this, and I call that guy… We’ll probably never see each other again…”

…

Hearing this brings a heaviness to Kim’s heart. Shego’s part of her life. Maybe not a friend, or even an acquaintance; but so much of their time has been spent together. Whether or not it was spent trying to “bludgeon each other to death” doesn’t matter to her. For the better part of her high school career, Kim and Shego have become two sides of the same coin. Every weekend Kim spent training for the next fight, Shego was doing the same. Every wound inflicted was a reminder to return the favor the next go ‘round.

...

 _“It gave me something to look forward to…”_ She remembers Shego saying.

...

The more she thinks about it, the more those words ring true. Kim realizes, she always felt the same way.

Saving the world was the purpose, yes. It was always about the big picture. And palling around with Ron was fun- for a while.

But the only other constant, the only other thing she could depend on than being the hero... was Shego being there to try and stop her.

…

It breaks her heart _._ All of it. Seeing Shego so depressed sucks, but imagining life without her sucks even more.

Yes, she wants to get away from her- as far as getting a body to herself back. But Shego, gone forever?

Not even.

…

She desperately tries to think of something to say to make sense of it all. Not just for Shego, but for herself.

As much as she realizes the other woman needs a change in her life, there has to be a way she can accomplish that without the two of them going separate ways.

…

“Shego… Hear me out,” she begins, and Shego attentively meets her eyes. “I don’t- I don’t think you should call him.”

She raises a brow at that.

“I think… Maybe… Maybe you should let _me_ help you,” Kim finishes.

…

As expected, Shego scoffs. _“Please_ Kimmie… How can _you_ possibly help me?”

Kim bashfully grins. “Well… Anything’s possible for a Possible…”

More cynical skepticism from Shego. “Pffft… Why do you care anyway? Missing your last Blue Bell scouts badge?”

Kim just meets this statement with a piteous look.

…

“I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need your help… I’m not worth worrying about anyway…” Shego continues before coldly looking away.

…

“Shego… That is _so_ not true…”

“Really? Because I don’t see how.”

…

Kim takes a deep breath, and decides to just say how she feels without overthinking it.

“Shego… I’ve never pitied you. I don’t need to. You’re a hell of a person…” she tells her, resting a comforting hand over hers. Shego meets it with some apprehension, but she doesn’t reject her gesture.

“You don’t have to go through this alone…”

…

Shego looks up to meet Kim’s eyes, and for the second time today, Kim makes a point to look deeply into hers. Two pairs of glossy green eyes just gaze into each other, and two hearts begin pounding in their chests.

And it feels… Good….

...

As far as days on the job go, this one has been pretty shitty. It was supposed to just be the usual Team Possible stops Drakken’s stupid scheme, who knew Kim and Shego would end up becoming attached at the hip?… They are _literally_ too close for comfort.

But, in this moment, just looking through to the other person in the peace and quiet, feeling the warmth of each other’s hands…

It’s kind of nice to be so close.

…

…

But, for the second time, their moment of intimacy is cut short- _ruined,_ by the sound of two dinguses making their grand entrance.

“Oh Shego! I’ve returned!” Dr. Drakken happily calls out.

“Yeah! We didn’t screw up this time, KP!” Ron adds just as keenly.

…

Shego heavily sighs, and Kim smiles a somber smile as she takes her hand off hers.

They look up to their respective accomplices. Drakken is still dragging along the same thing with his makeshift leash.

“Ron!” Kim excitedly calls out with a smile.

“Check it out, Kim. We talked to Drakken’s guy- who was a total dick-”

“So can you fix this?” Kim interrupts.

…

“Oh, we can fix it…” Drakken says with a smug grin.

Then, he yanks on the leash.

…

Tied from the other end, Shego’s legs come walking in… with Kim’s conjoined to them where her upper body used to be.

“Heh? _Heh?!”_ Drakken just utters with a stupid grin.

…

“Oh come on!” Kim cries.

“I know, right?!” Shego agrees. “Of _course_ your legs are on top!”

Kim just meets Shego with an apathetic furrow of the brow.

…

Drakken and Ron look around at the lair, and notice the damage done from the previous skirmish.

“Uhm… What have you two been doing?” the former asks.

“Forget it, Dr. D… Just get us back to normal!” Shego hollers.

“Yes, yes… Be patient. I have to recalibrate the teleporter, I have to make sure all the gauges are displaying the correct readings, I have to-”

“Now!” Kim and Shego yell in unison.

…

“Okay, _fine…_ But you guys owe me big for this. I’m thinking… One authentic Snowman Hank Carrot Nose…” Drakken sneers.

…

The others just groan.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Kim and Shego lie with their shared back against the cold surface of the teleporter.

Drakken intently studies the terminal, making sure everything is precise before he proceeds any further.

Ron and Rufus watch on… While the naked mole rat munches on a forgotten nutty nut bar.

…

“Excellent. All readings are green… _Tee hee…_ Like _you,_ Shego!” Drakken childishly jokes.

“Oy… Will you please just get this over with?” his accomplice pleas.

…

“Yes… _Behold_ , Stoopable! Witness the glory that is my-!”

“It’s Stoppable! STOPPABLE!”

Drakken just frowns. “Whatever… Witness the glory that is my genius! Muah ha ha ha ha!” he evilly laughs as he activates the teleporter.

…

All the bells and whistles go off, and the same bright light flashes, followed by the same shrouding of a cloud of smoke.

…

…

It dissipates to reveal Kim Possible and Shego… back to their normal two-legged selves.

They look to themselves, then to each other- just to be sure it’s true. And sure enough, it is.

“Oh thank god!” Kim jovially exclaims.

“My ass… My beautiful, _beautiful_ ass…” Shego thinks aloud as she admires her derriere.

…

Kim smiles at her. “I’m glad to see you guys are back together,” she quips.

Shego smiles back. “Hey, you said you missed her, too,” she replies, and they just keep smiling at one another.

…

…

Then, Shego stops smiling.

Which makes Kim stop smiling. Worse yet, she finds that her back _really_ hurts all of a sudden.

She stretches it out, and Shego face palms.

“Dude, what the fuck?” the villainess bluntly states.

“What? _What?”_ Kim neurotically repeats.

…

And her back still _really_ hurts.

As she stretches it out again, she realizes just what has Shego so concerned.

Not only does Kim have her own little pointy boobs; she has Shego’s rack stacked on top of it.

“Oh my God! Drakken!” she cries.

…

“Whoops… I was afraid of this…” he utters as he punches in things on his terminal.

Ron and Rufus block their eyes, trying to be as gentlemanly as possible in the crude situation.

…

Shego looks to her chest, and Kim looks to hers. Where Kim is prudishly trying not to make it obvious she's looking at Shego’s breasts- whether they're on her chest or not; Shego is just scowling.

“I swear to god Drakken you better fix this! I look like I’m fucking nine years-old again!” Shego yells.

“I'll get it!... Eventually…” he bemoans.

...

The girls look at him with disbelief.

“What the hell does that mean?!” Kim shouts.

…

He winces. “Well… You see… There's thousands of ways your molecules can be rearranged in the process… I’ve done my best to calibrate the machine to James’ specifications, but it could take a while to get this _just right…”_

…

Kim and Shego just meet one another with despondent expressions.

And of course, Kim has to stretch her back out again.

…

…

There are many more trips through the machine that was intended to be a teleporter. The first time through, Shego's breasts return to where they belong, but she ends up with three arms. Then, Kim’s head ends up on Shego’s body, and vice versa.

They go through almost any combination imaginable, including ending up waist-to-waist like before. Drakken gets so tired of operating the machine that he actually lets Ron take over for a little bit.

…

Several _exhausting_ tries later, all the bells and whistles go off, and the same bright light flashes, followed by the same shrouding of a cloud of smoke… again…

…

It dissipates to reveal Kim Possible and Shego… back to their normal two-legged selves.

They look to themselves, then to each other- just to be sure it’s true. And sure enough, it is.

This time, everyone’s body parts seem to be exactly where they belong. Heads, arms, legs, boobs, butts, everything is back to normal.

…

“Thank god!” Kim cries out again, even more thankfully than before.

It gets the attention of the males, who perk up and realize something good has happened.

…

Kim and Shego thoroughly study themselves, and each other, all over. It really seems like they’re back to normal.

“Thank god is right… Phew…” Shego says with a sigh of relief, wiping her brow.

...

Which is when Kim sees it.

Her pinky.

_Her_ pinky… On Shego’s right hand.

…

She grabs Shego by the wrist, who promptly yells “Hey!”

“Look!” Kim tells her, showing her the little white pinky on her green hand.

She looks down to her own hand, and sure enough, Kim and Shego’s pinkies have been swapped out in the process.

…

Everyone groans.

“Well, time to get back to it, cousin Rob,” Drakken quips as he returns to the terminal.

Rufus pops out of Ron’s pocket to express his chagrin. “Eh heh!”

…

Kim and Shego look to each other again, and both just carelessly shrug to one another.

“You know what, I can honestly live with it,” Shego tells her, looking over her new pinky.

“Agreed. So not the drama,” Kim says back.

…

“Really? So we’re done?” Ron thinks aloud.

…

Kim and Shego exchange one last look, and both softly nod.

“Like I said, I can live with it,” Shego says.

…

...

Then, Drakken begins evilly laughing. “Muah ha ha… Muah ha ha- HA ha ha ha!”

The others look to him with Dwayne Johnson eyebrow raises.

The villain smiles.

“Yes! Now that that horrific incident of terror is over… I can finally obtain the Snowman Hank Carrot Nose, and RULE THE WORLD!”

…

He keeps smiling all evil like, until he realizes everyone is looking at him like he’s an idiot.

Which makes him _feel_ like an idiot.

“What? I’m used to shouting that,” he reasons.

…

Then he gets serious.

“Quick Shego! Before they can interfere again- Crush her!” Drakken orders.

…

Kim looks crossly at Shego. The other woman just sighs.

“Drakken…” she bemoans. Her employer just looks on with blossoming disbelief. “I’m tired…”

…

Once the words leave her lips, she softly half-smiles at Kim. Kim returns the gesture with a smile of her own.

…

Drakken just sputters some incoherent babble as Kim pulls out her Kimmunicator. She dials up Wade.

“Kim! You’re back to normal!” he gleefully shouts.

Kim frowns. “What?”

“Oh… Nothing… What’s up?” Wade nervously follows.

…

Kim coldly glares at Ron, who nervously smiles and shrugs. She disregards it for now to focus on the task at hand.

“Wade, do you have my coordinates?” she asks.

“Of course… Let me guess, Drakken’s newest lair?” Wade responds.

“Of course,” Kim replies. “I need you to get a hold of Global Justice and let them know that there is a very expensive, very _illegal_ teleporter here that needs confiscating.”

Drakken’s jaw frightfully drops upon hearing this.

…

“Can do, Kim,” Wade simply obeys.

“Thanks, Wade.”

…

She hangs up, and looks over Drakken, who is trying to sneak away with no such luck. He nervously smiles as Kim glares at him.

“Please don’t hurt me…” he whimpers.

…

Kim takes a step forward, and he frantically flinches. However, she doesn’t follow up with any violence.

He opens his eyes, and Kim is still sternly staring at him.

“Get out of here before I change my mind about kicking your ass,” she threatens.

…

He dumbly looks to her with shock, but snaps out of it once it registers that she’s _letting him go._

“Uhm… Shego…” he coyly utters to her.

…

They look over to the vixen, who just sullenly stands beside herself with her eyes glued to her new pinky.

Kim watches her, hoping that she’ll see the beseeching look in her eyes, and that she won’t leave with him.

And that maybe she’ll come to her…

…

…

But she doesn’t.

Without looking up, she just slowly makes her way over to Drakken.

Kim can’t help but just watch with the heaviest of hearts.

…

Drakken realizes Shego’s coming along, and he anxiously hurries to the exit. She just follows behind.

…

When she gets to the door, Shego stops, and she takes a look back at Kim with a defeated look on her face.

Kim hopes, _prays_ that she'll turn around. That she’ll come her way and leave this part of their lives behind forever.

…

But she doesn’t. She turns away, and she follows Drakken out the door.

…

…

Kim just stands there, the one to be beside herself now. She’s never felt so rejected, betrayed, _heartbroken..._

But Ron is oblivious. He just comes rushing over to spaz out.

“Why’d you let him get away, Kim? We could’ve had them both, right here!”

…

She heavily sighs, and doesn’t even bother looking back to him. Instead, she looks to the green finger on her hand.

“Because I’m tired, Ron… I’m just tired…”

\-----------------------

_Three days later…_

…

Another evil lair, another stupid scheme.

Dr. Drakken rushes into the main room, holding up the schematics for a new villainous contraption.

“Shego!... _Shego!...”_

…

The raven haired mistress just sullenly groans as he draws nearer, waving his stupid paper around like a child.

“Oh boy… Here we go…” she groans as she looks up from her new pinky.

…

“Shego… Do you know what I have in my hand?” Drakken begins.

“Actually Dr. D…”

“I have the plans for a brand new shrink ray! I am going to shrink myself down to a mere seven inches tall, flush myself down the toilet, and traverse the sewers all the way to Kentucky. From there, I shall-”

“Drew,” Shego interrupts, softly, surly. Drakken just halts, and gives her his undivided attention.

…

She takes a breath, and prepares herself.

“Drew, I'm done…”

…

Drakken just meets her with a dumb expression, then awkwardly smiles. “Done? Like how? Done with Breaking Bad? I told you it was a good show!”

“No, I mean I'm _done._ I'm done working for you. I'm done being a villain. I'm just… done…” she somberly explains.

…

It dons on Drakken what she really means, and he grows anxious.

“Done? How can you be _done?_ We still have so much work to do! I have to get the Carrot Nose! And take over the world!” he sorrowfully cries.

Shego sighs. _“Drakken…”_

 “Is it me? I thought we had something special! I mean, not _special…_ But, oh you know what I mean!”

…

As true as it is that, it really is _him…_ Even Shego isn't cruel enough to break the poor man-child’s spirit.

“God… I'm getting soft,” Shego says under her breath.

…

Drakken just looks at her with the most pitiful puppy eyes, but she just tries not to look at them as she continues.

“Drakken, we've had a lot of good years together. _Great_ years, even… But there just- there isn't a spark anymore, you know?”

“No! I really don't know!” Drakken cries.

“Well, I'm... _sorry,_ Drakken… I just… Ugh… I can’t believe I’m saying this…”

“Saying what? _Saying what?!”_

…

She takes another look at her special pinky.

“Kim was right… I need a change…” Shego admits, finally looking back to him.

“I'm not happy with this life anymore. I wake up feeling drained, I go to be bed at night feeling restless… I haven't even been filing my nails…” she reveals with a frown.

Drakken gasps. “Huah! But you _love_ filing your nails!”

“I really do,” Shego remarks before getting back to her resignation.

…

“I'm going to call that lawyer who knows that guy. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what I'll do when I get there… I just know…”

She stops, again thinking back to the things Kim said to her.

“...I just know I owe it to myself to be happy.”

…

…

Drakken takes a moment to digest the information, and he heavily, pitifully sighs.

…

Then he _scowls._

“Happy? _Happy?!_ We're bad guys! We're not supposed to be happy! We're supposed to take over the world and look constipated the whole time we’re doing it!”

Shego winces at his statement. “What?”

“You traitorous cur!… After all these years of supporting you, this is the thanks I get? I gave you money, power, respect!” Drakken badgers on.

Now Shego scowls back.

“I _earned_ all of those things on my own! And maybe I don't _wanna_ look constipated!”

“Well you look pretty constipated right now!” Drakken huffs with this hands around his waist.

…

For a moment, they just snarl at each other.

“Blow me!” Shego curses, and she walks past him.

…

Realizing she's actually _serious_ about leaving, Drakken starts to panic.

“Shego?! Shego, wait!” he hollers, and he goes to hover over her as she makes her way to the door.

She's about to open it, when he sticks his hand out to shut it. Again, Shego looks to his desperate blue face, and now he’s smiling that smile he smiles when he _knows_ he’s in trouble.

…

“Shego, please… Let’s talk this out! We’ll renegotiate your salary!”

“Ugh!” she groans with a face palm. “Don't you get it?! It's not about the money! It's about life! The big picture! Don't you ever stop to think about that?!”

…

He just dumbly looks back. “No…”

…

Shego just impatiently frowns, and moves him to the side to get out the door.

As she's walking down the driveway, Drakken desperately tries to think of what to say to bring her back, but his emotions get the better of him. His instinct is to be a butthole about this.

“Fine! Go ahead and leave! See if I care! You'll be back, you always come back!” he shouts.

…

But she doesn't come back.

So he gets sad.

…

He hurts and puffs and mumbles under his breath as he makes his way over to the couch, where he plops down all mopey like.

“She’ll be back…”

…

He just sits in silence for a moment, then looks up to the TV.

He deviously smiles.

“Well, since she’s gone; I guess I'm free to watch some _fun_ stuff…”

…

He excitedly turns on the TV and gets comfortable all while giddily smiling and laughing to himself.

He finds what he wants to watch on the monitor, and turns back to make sure Shego won't return, then blares the volume up as high as it will go.

There's laughing, and heavy breathing, and _moaning…_

…

But of course, Shego _does_ come back.

“Hey- super awkward I know, but could I get my last check?-” she asks as she walks in the door, and then she sees _it._

Drakken notices her, and panics as he tries to get the remote and turn it off.

“Shego! Ehh- it's not what it looks like!”

“Eww what the fuck?!” she blurts out.

…

“You're a _brony?!”_

…

Yes, it's true. Dr. Drew Lipsky, AKA Dr. Drakken, is watching My Little Pony.

They both just awkwardly look to one another while bright images of cartoon ponies flash across the screen.

…

...

“I can explain…” Drakken simply says.

…

“Uhm… Just… Just mail it to me…” Shego says as she slowly backs out of the lair.

...

“How am I supposed to mail it to you IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!!” Drakken yells.

…

But this time, she really is gone.

So he sits back, relaxes, and watches his ponies with a frown on his face.

…

...

All of a sudden, a hand comes across his shoulder.

He looks up, and sees James holding a large purple dildo in his other hand.

He gulps.

…

James just meets him with a sinister smile.

“You should’ve asked me for lube.”

\-----------------------

Meanwhile, Kim Possible finds herself in a complete and total state of ennui, trying to enjoy bueno nachos with her best friends Ron and Monique at Bueno Nacho.

Luckily though, Rufus is fine, and having a nice siesta on the table after stuffing his face with cheesy corn chip goodness.

…

While he enjoys his nap, and Ron and Monique laugh at something funny on their phones, Kim just mulls to herself as she hangs her head lowly. She looks down to her hand, and sees her special green finger- a friendly reminder that Shego’s out there, doing who knows what in who knows where.

The latest Generation Z pop song finishes playing over the PA system, and shifts to “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne.

“Great… This doesn’t remind me of her _at all…”_ she quietly says to herself.

…

Ron and Monique stop laughing, and give her their attention.

“Girl, you haven’t touched your phone since we’ve got here, what’s wrong?” Monique asks.

“I’m fine,” Kim woefully fibs, not even bothering to raise her head.

“Are you sure? You haven't touched your Naco either,” Ron points out. Of course, Rufus perks up upon hearing this, but Ron sternly looks at him, as if to tell him “Back off.” Rufus cusses under his breath before returning to his nap.

…

“Kim, come on… You’ve been like this all day,” Monique observes. She looks to Ron with a conflicted expression, then leans in to whisper to Kim. “Is it because of a boy?”

“Hey, secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone!” Ron petulantly rhymes.

Monique just glowers at him, but Kim just lets out a heavy sigh.

“No, Mo… It’s not that…” she moans. “You wouldn’t understand…” she adds, again eyeing her pinky.

…

Ron realizes it, and sadly frowns. “KP, are you… Is this about Shego?” he asks.

…

Kim perks up, and raises her head. “No…” she tries to lie, but she’s a dead giveaway, and her friends look to her with concern.

“Okay, yes…”

…

Monique raises her brow. “Shego? What’s up with Shego?” she asks.

Before Ron can says anything, Kim sharply glares at him. “Don’t say anything.”

“I was gonna let you explain!” he defends as he raises his hands up.

…

“Kim, talk to me girl. You know I just wanna help,” Monique tells her with care, laying her hand on top of Kim’s. “Plus, the new pinky’s still tripping me out,” she adds.

…

Her soft palm reminds her of Shego’s touch. Ever since they were separated, she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Hell, she still _feels_ her, almost in the same way she could still feel her legs while they were conjoined.

Even so, it’s just too embarrassing to tell Monique the truth about how their experience.

That has to be why she doesn’t want to talk about it, right?

…

“I know…” Kim replies, moving her hand out from under Monique’s. “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything, it’s just- it’s…”

_*Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?*_ Avril sings over the PA.

…

“It’s complicated?” Monique says with a little smile back.

...

Kim gets wide eyed.

“No… No! _Complicated? Shego?_ Pfft… As if…”

…

Monique and Ron just glance at one another, Monique still smiling.

“I don’t get it,” Ron bluntly states.

“There’s nothing _to_ get,” Kim insists, scowling at them.

…

“Kim, listen,” Monique begins. “Whatever’s going on with Shego, and whether or not it’s complicated, that’s not our business.”

“But?” Kim follows up, knowing where this is going.

“But… You’re our main girl. We’re gonna be here and support you no matter what happens,” Monique finishes with a smile.

…

Ron picks up on her empathy, and softly sighs. “Ditto for me, Kim. And… Maybe you should- _you know… Talk_ to Shego…” he suggests.

…

Kim gets even more wide eyed at his statement, but eases up as she deflates. “You’re right… _I know_ you’re right… But I don’t know where she is? And even if I did, how the heck am I supposed to say what I need to say to her…”

“Wade?! _Duh…”_ Rufus tells her, and then he swipes her Naco like a straight up G.

…

She looks to him, and he just eats it. She looks to her friends, and they just warmly smile back at her.

Then, she takes out her Kimmunicator, and just looks at it for a moment, contemplating their words.

…

And she comes to a decision.

“Thanks guys,” she tells them with a warm smile of her own, and she stands up and slings her bag around her shoulder. “Uhm, you guys can cover me for the Naco, right?”

“Sure Kim, it’s just a Naco,” Ron tells her, earning a shocked gasp from Rufus. “What?” his human companion simply responds.

…

“You go, KP,” Monique tells Kim, and the others watch her make her way outside.

Monique waits until she’s certain Kim’s gone, and then leans in to whisper to Ron.

“So, what’s up with the pinky?” she asks him.

…

He thinks it over for a moment, eyeing her lunch. “Cover me too and I’ll tell you.”

…

…

Outside the restaurant, Kim heads into her car, and quickly dials up Wade. He answers almost right away.

“Hey Kim. What’s the sitch?” he asks.

“Wade, I’m sorry to be pushy, but I really need you to find out where Shego is, right now,” she demands.

“Oh, okay… Is she trying to steal something or what?” he coyly asks.

…

She carefully considers how to word her answer.

“Uhm, well, no… It’s… complicated…”

…

Wade just looks at her with concern. “Oh… Okay?... Give me a minute,” he tells her, and he begins typing away at his keyboard.

Kim just looks at her pinky while she waits.

…

“Okay, I think I’ve got her. She’s in... Nova Scotia?” he reveals.

“Nova Scotia? Like Canada? What could she possibly be doing there?” Kim wonders.

Wade frowns. “Easy Kim. I have a friend who lives in Canada.”

Kim disregards his comment. “Get me a ride to her coordinates ASAP, please.”

“Are you gonna tell me what this is about?” he asks.

“I will… As soon as I figure things out,” Kim answers, eyeing her pinky once more.

\-----------------------

Shego looks out into the cold night sky of the Canadian horizon. She’s thought everything over, over and over again. She’s hurt everyone who’s ever given her a chance. She’s wasted her life away trying to be a villain, something she thought she always wanted.

But now, there’s just emptiness. Blackness. Almost like the night sky.

…

But there are the stars… And something about them, makes this all feel so right. Like, things can be okay, and there’s actually light at the end of this long, cold tunnel.

…

And they offer one hell of a view from the ledge of this bridge.

…

She takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes.

“If somebody’s listening… Please, have mercy on me,” she says.

…

…

And then, she does it.

…

...

She throws her phone off the bridge.

She just kind of looks down as it falls, and huffs. “Huh… That was kind of stupid. I could’ve just decided not to use it anymore… Oh well…” she thinks aloud, and then she turns around.

...

She makes her way along the bridge, putting her hands in her coat pockets to keep warm.

“Fuck, I should’ve went to Mexico… Canadian weed ain’t worth this frickin’ cold,” she cusses.

…

She keeps walking along, until...

“Shego!” she hears from behind her.

…

She stops, and belatedly turns around.

“It can’t be…”

…

But it is. It’s Kim Possible, standing at the other end of the bridge.

Shego just watches on in disbelief, and then Kim comes running over to her.

“Shego…” she says again through her panting.

…

Shego measures her up, still surprised to see her.

“Kim? What are you doing here?”

…

Kim catches her breath, and addresses her. “I had to find you… I had to see you… I had to talk to you…”

Shego digests this, and conflictingly tries to form a response. “What the- What the hell are you yammering on about? What do you mean you had to find me? I’m not doing anything wrong?!”

“And that’s good! That’s good, Shego!” Kim tells her. “I didn’t think you would be. I believed you when you said you were done with that life.”

…

“So… What _are_ you doing here, then?” Shego asks.

…

As many times she’s played this scenario out on her head, Kim still feels her heart fluttering in her chest actually standing in front of Shego. For some reason, she expected they’d be inside somewhere, and she thought Shego would be more snarky, not _concerned_.

But here she is, and she knows she needs to try and remember some of the things she rehearsed to herself about how she feels.

…

“Shego… I still feel you,” she says.

Which, comes out a lot more awkward than she’d hoped, and Shego gets wide eyed at her statement.

“Wait… That came out wrong,” Kim adds.

…

“No, I know what you mean, Kim,” Shego responds, easing up. “I still feel like we’re together sometimes.”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant,” Kim agrees, somewhat bashfully.

…

And like before, when they were together, it gets tensely quiet. Kim knows what she needs to say, and to an extent, Shego knows what to expect.

But that doesn't make it any easier, and it doesn’t ease the nervousness any less.

...

Even so, Kim flew all the way from Middleton here just to see her, and to pour her heart out the same way that Shego was brave enough to do back at Drakken’s lair.

She may not do it perfectly, but if there’s one thing she’s learned over her career, it’s that anything is possible for a Possible.

And maybe even Shego.

…

So she breaks the silence. “What are you doing here, Shego? I mean, why _here?”_

“What do you have against Canada?” she retorts.

“I don’t have anything against Canada!” Kim assures her. “It’s just… Ugh… I don’t think you should be out here in BFE where’s it’s cold and dark and lonely. Not when you could be… I don’t know…”

Shego raises her brow at this.

“When I could be… What?”

…

Kim steels herself a moment, but bucks up, and remembers why this is so important to her.

She takes Shego by the hand. “I think you should come back to Middleton… With me…”

…

Shego just flabbergastingly looks to her for a little while, like she has no idea how to respond. The worst part is, Kim holds her hand all the while, staring right back at her with these desperate eyes.

It would be so easy to say yes; to turn over a new leaf and pretend like she hasn’t wronged so many people over the years. But she can’t. It _isn’t_ possible.

…

So she slips her hand out of Kim’s, and lets out a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry… I can’t…”

…

She just looks back out to the night sky for a moment, looking as conflicted as Kim has ever seen her.

“Please just leave. I know you mean well, but this is really for the best. Just go…” Shego tells her.

She turns around, and slowly begins to walk away.

…

…

Kim feels the same awful swelling in her chest that she did when Shego left the lair with Drakken. Here she is, trying the hardest she ever has to reach out to her former rival, and she’s shot down, _again._

It hurts, it really does.

But it also pisses her off.

…

She trudges after Shego, and forcefully turns her around. Shego is, of course, stunned.

“I can’t let you walk away this time, Shego. I won’t,” Kim tells her, her voice nearly cracking.

…

And here’s Kim Possible, reaching out to Shego in a way no one has ever done for her before. Everyone else has given up on her. Hell, they didn’t even give her a second chance!

So yeah, it hurts to tell her no. It really does.

But the way Kim just twirled her around like some ragdoll… It pisses her off too.

…

She swats Kim’s hand away. “I’m not coming with you! Nothing you say or do is going to change that!”

Kim angrily frowns at her, and waves the green pinky on her finger in Shego’s face. “Really? Even after what we went through, even after _this… Nothing_ I do matters to you?”

…

…

Shego scowls back, for a moment. But she deflates shortly after, hanging her head low.

“I- I just _can’t_ Kim…”

…

Kim’s anger shifts into a somberness. “Why?...”

Shego looks up to meet her green eyes, feeling her own eyes starting to water a little.

“Because… I’m afraid…”

…

It isn’t at all what Kim expected to hear. Shego- admitting she’s _afraid?_

“Of what?” she asks, her heart practically beating out of her chest.

…

“I’m afraid that- We’ll get close…” Shego confesses. “I’m my own worst enemy, Kim. The reason I’m so fucked up is because I can’t be close to other people. I messed things up with my brothers, I messed things up with- guys… I could’ve let myself be happy so many times. But I just-”

“Stop it!” Kim interrupts, catching her by surprise. “Ugh, listen to me!” she continues. “I’m sorry about all of that, Shego. I really am… But… Maybe- maybe I could be different,” she says, taking her hand again.

And again, Shego looks into those emerald eyes of hers. It gets harder and harder every time, because she’s so…

Beautiful…

…

“Please… Come home with me. I don’t care what we do after that. We’ll figure things out,” Kim tells her.

…

…

“I’ll come back with you,” Shego tells her, and Kim’s eyes brighten up. “But only if you tell me why. Why is this so important to you?”

…

Kim thinks it over as she stares back at Shego’s face. She looked good before, but under this moonlight, she looks truly amazing.

So she decides not to think so much, and just let her heart do the talking.

…

“Because, I _want_ to get close…”

…

…

The pounding in her poor has almost become too much to bear, and the way Shego stoically looks back to her makes her feel like reducing into a pathetic little puddle, then just spilling under the bridge to stay forever.

But then, Shego speaks up.

...

“Okay,” she simply says.

…

Kim still wants to spill under the bridge all poetic like, but for a completely different reason now. _She actually said yes!_

“Really?” she says, a sweet little smile coming to her blushing face.

 “Mhm… _But…_ I want one more thing,” Shego says, a little smile coming to her face too.

…

“What?” Kim belatedly responds, a lump forming in her throat.

…

…

Without a word, Shego leans in, and kisses her on the lips.

It was... perfect, really. Perfectly timed, perfectly executed, just… perfect.

And it was nice. It was just a smooch, but it was enough to make Kim’s whole body grow warm and fuzzy, and she can’t help but smile as Shego breaks away. And of course, she smiles too.

…

Then, there’s another awkward silence. This one’s good though, and they nervously chuckle about it.

“We’re gonna have to have a sparring match when we get there. You know- to work off the tension,” Shego quips.

“We can do that,” Kim says back. “But first, I think I could use a drink… You _did_ say you’d buy me one,” she reminds her special new friend.

“Heh… I did didn’t I?” Shego responds.

“Good thing we’re in Canada, huh?” Kim finishes, and they begin walking side by side off the bridge, onto the road.

…

After a few moments, Shego chuckles to herself. “Shit, Kim… You were right all along,” she says.

Kim raises her brow. “Really? How so?” she asks with a smile.

...

Shego smiles back.

“Anything’s possible.”

THE END

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this! I had only intended to make it about 10k words, and wasn’t sure I’d do such a sappy ending; but as you can see, the story just got a lot of fun to write, and I got carried away with the Ron/Drakken stuff XD
> 
> Plus, the world can always use more Kigo;)
> 
> A big thanks to Invader Johnny again for requesting this, and for all of his ideas that got worked in. You rock, big guy.
> 
> A big thanks to Disney and the creators of Kim Possible, Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle, as well. I love the show, I love the characters, I love the Kimmunity, and I am excited to see the new movie when it comes out:)
> 
> Also, yes, James was somewhat of a self-insert. How much like me you want to believe he is is up to you though.
> 
> And I don’t own “Complicated” by the lovely miss Avril Lavigne.
> 
> Lastly, sorry if I offended any Canadians or any Bronies out there. Know that I love Tara Strong, and this was all for fun.
> 
> Thanks again. Now go read Carol Likes Luna and all my other shit;)
> 
> ...
> 
>  PS “Shego looks out into the cold night sky of the Canadian horizon” is the greatest line in literature history. I deserve that much.
> 
>  


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